Where have you been?!

OK, so I know its been almost 2 months since I've done any updates. Lots of things have happened. The pilgrims landed, fried a turkey, and drank a lot of booze. Wait, no, that was just the normal thanksgiving at my parents house.

Aside from things... some of you have heard that the Chaise broke... stay tuned for those details further on down. A funny thing happened on the way to the Storum... My cousin Lisa sprung an idea on me the day after turkey day. Her daughter Chelsea, works for Lowes, which was having an employee appreciation event, which consisted of 30% discounts on certain brands of appliances. You wonder why you haven't seen pictures of the kitchen, here's why.

#1 Microwave with TIME and TEMPERATURE DIALS! DIALS! Did you hear me, DIALS?! I had never seen a microwave with time and temperature dials. What's even funnier, you had to hold in the start button, for about 5 seconds. My first venture ended up with melted plastic all over my food, along with about 35 atoms of Uranium 235 being transferred into my left arm. I no longer need lights at night, I just follow my left arm.

#2 See space above stove where aforementioned Microwave used to reside. The stove was just as old as the microwave. Funny thing about the stove, there were missing buttons, and it just never wanted to light. When we first came to the house, the former owner was baking cookies, but I think it may have just been a candle, and fake cookies!

#3 Old Kenmore Dishwasher, that while it ran through cycles, never washed a dish, and left hard water stains.... just lovely.

Picture of space previously occupied by said dishwasher.

I'm no longer blinded by the light! While I had no clue how to measure for the blinds, or what to do, a lil help from Mom ended up in an october trip to Lowes to pick up blinds. Magically none had to be cut, but there's still some work to be done on the dining room door, and curtains for the living room.

Look at the strategically placed Redwings blanket. If it were absent, you'd see how the Chaise part of the couch, is no longer level. Whilst I knelt to close that window, the Chaise snapped. Maybe its a sign I should go on a diet?! It was roughly 6 weeks ago, and Chaise number 2 should be coming very very soon....

What's next? Well I fly out to Detoilet (detroit) to visit my bro this weekend and drive back to NJ. We'll spend some time working on the wiring for the home theatre system, so I can take full advantage of the TV and Dish Network's Turbo HD. The picture is phenomenal! Thanks for reading, stop by and enjoy a few beers. $10 to the first person who finishes a pepper flavored beer without making a funny face. (Kevin, Kelley, Lisa, Bryce and Jack all know what I'm talking about)

Ooh OOh what kind of progress?

Much to the dismay of everyone following the blog, this week's update does not include pictures or mildly amusing stories about what transpired over the weekend. This past weekend was one of a relaxing nature spent in Queens..... One of Diane's friends got married on friday, and of course during the reception, when they throw the bouquet and garter, we both got called out...

Saturday was a costume party, thank god there are no pictures. I went as the guy from Operation. An easy $30 costume from Target, however, note to anyone: THIS COSTUME DOES NOT BREATHE WELL. Subsequently and completely un-arranged, Di went as the board game Twister.

Sunday I watched some of the Jets, listened to the rest of the antics on the radio, saw some of the Giants, ate a great dinner at Mom & Dad's, listened to the rest of the antics on the radio, and returned to Clifton. I did drum up the energy to do some cleaning/dusting when I got back, and hooked up the TV to the antenna on the roof. I get CW HD, and PBS HD, and the regular channels, but no HD. Sooner or later I will call Dish.

Next weekend: Golf Tourney saturday! and hopefully working on the wiring for the home theatre! Woohoo!

"Insert Tetris Theme Song Here"

Oh what a fitting tribute to the wonderful game from 1988... For those of you who just went and looked it up, you're pathetic... I'm guessing it was 1988, but i can't really be sure. So after the furniture guys delivered my furniture (only 2 or 3 minor knicks, and some styrofoam stuff stuck to the dining room chairs) we ran over to The Depot.. or as it all it The Debt-Oh! Picked up some furniture sliders, and proceeded to re-arrange the living room furniture a few times. SOME PEOPLE insisted that the TV be placed on the western wall, ie far away from the door, where those ugly mirrors used to be. Well in order to do so, said couch & chaise, and wandering ottoman, kind of blocked off the space. Rotating the couch 180 degrees, proved to open up the room alot. I heard some chirping about the TV being "too far away". Oh! forgot to mention we picked up the TV stand from Circuit City, which included a nice spot to conceal the center channel! So, thou who shall remain nameless, insisted that the TV and entertainment center would never fit between the stairs and the tiles... scroll below


Not only did it fit, it fit pretty damn well! And, at 52", its nearly impossible to be too far away. A drop in visit from Mr. Musler confirmed that the TV was in fact, in the best position. What you don't see, is the temporary blinds over the window... A tribute to my college days... A Sheet!

So, there's dust everywhere. Evidently the virtually dust-free floor refinishing means, "we'll leave a film of dust on the walls that you'll have a b*tch cleaning. The best results came from a swiffer and some good ole elbow grease. Below, a picture of the awesome table w/granite inlay.

Matching server. It was dark, and there were some light issues.

A dark picture of the bedroom, but it looks real nice! I finally have a bed to sleep in! I'm so excited.

To those of you expecting the normal style of humor that accompanies the writeup - I've been up for 23 hours, and although that in and of itself means i should be loopy, I can't think of any situations i can impose my views upon to make it funny.

Travel note: beware of flying with Halloween costumes. I am going as the guy from Operation, and realized due to my travel plans, I had to bring my costume to Arizona. The TSA agents thought the round object with string coming from it looked suspicious. Upon asking, I opened my bag and explained that it was part of the costume. A few jokes were thrown around, and they explained to me that its not Halloween yet... National Security at its best!

This weekend just FLOORED me

So, this past weekend was an interesting time. My brother flew in from Michigan because Caesars gave us free tickets to see Seinfeld (we'll get to that later). Along with that, I happened to be getting the hardwood floors stripped and refinished. Thursday, while I was in Arizona, my mom and sis stopped by the house to check on the flooring guys and make sure my house was still there. Mom dropped off the truck for me so that I had a car when I got back to NJ. Somehow, they managed to plan this whole spectacle to include a trip to Forno's.

So what do I see when I groggily (not sure if that's a word) stumble into my house Friday morning... My floor has chicken pox!

Later on that day, a view of the blue room, completely stripped... looks purty, but that damned noisy floor sander prevented me from sleeping all day.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.... Just kidding.... So Kevin and I had this brilliant plan, and it did not involve drinking Guinness. Since I normally fly out at 6:45 on Mondays, he took a 6 am flight to return to Detoilet. Only one problem, this Monday, I would work from home, while the floors are finished. I woke up at 3:45 am, to drive my bro to the airport. I should get a nomination or something. Nonetheless, Mike Yarwich (Statewide Maintenance & Flooring in East Rutherford, or Lyndhurst) did some work on Saturday, so I'd have some really shiny floors Monday morning. A quick view of the dining room and living room after the first clearcoat. It got buffed up, and a few more clearcoats after that... they look amazing!

So the free Seinfeld tickets? As soon as we finished dinner, Kevin and I got the itch... We gave the tickets to Mom & Kelley, which once we said "complimentary drink" they disappeared... Later on, they said the show was not worth the free drink... ouch! WHY AM I YELLING? I DON'T KNOW!!! Anyway, I spent the first 15 minutes of the gambling night in positive territory, and Kevin grabbed a straight flush in 3 card. That didn't last long. We went home unhappy campers.... Overall, productive weekend, great to see the family, and nearly gave them a heart attack when I purchased a book! It was a book on poker theory, so don't get your hopes up about my recreational reading.

Furniture comes Friday! No more aerobed on the floor! I'm so excited. All of the wiring stuff is on the way to install the home theatre system. Volunteers welcome!

Congrats also go out to Kevin & Jen Bryce as they welcomed their daughter Emma to the world today!

Put on my blue suede shoes, and I boarded the plane...

WAIIIIIIIIIT.... stop the presses. My shoes are not blue suede. They're now light blue, leathery paint covered Adidas sneakers. I did however board the plane just before the asscrack of dawn on Monday.

While there is a general cost to home improvements, there has been an incidental cost of $3,040.
Paint for week 3 of the NFL: $250
Not doing research for week 4 of Kevin's (my brother) Knockout Pool: $2200
Making a second poor choice for week 4 in the "loser's pool": $800
The aforementioned now blue Adidas sneakers: $40
Weekends of aggravation and soreness: Definitely not priceless...

So week 5? of the NFL... I think its week 5, at least that's what someone told me. Consisted of another weekend of painting. Di swung over Friday afternoon and we started workin on the second coats of mountain honey and sweet sage... or maybe mountain sage and sweet honey... ok, the YELLOW and the GREEN rooms. What's left? The BLUE room! We picked Yacht Harbor. Where they come up with these names? I mean yeah harbor goes with yacht, but it could have been shipwreck yacht, which might provide some insight for these projects.. Unfortunately Di had to call it a short weekend, but she's put in plenty of hard working time. Wanna hear something funny, Bryce made soup again on Saturday. I spent Sat afternoon/evening working on the blue room, to get the first coat down. I made it over to Chez Bryce around 11 pm, and after a few pieces of cheese, was ready for a few hours of wii.

Sunday, I rolled off the air mattress... groaned, and said "oh boy, another day of blue." I rocked and rolled through, and only broke one paint roller extender. DO NOT BUY THE PLASTIC ONES! So, during most of the Giant game, I finished up coat #2 of the blue room. Funny thing, I was even able to paint over the spackle spots in the living and dining rooms I had to do because someone could not wait 10 minutes for me to do that before painting the second coat. Thou shalt remain nameless.

End result, a nice blue room, clean floors ready to be sanded... and another check out the door.

FYI: I didn't paint that picture with the really cool swirly effect, that's called glare.

What's next? the chicken or the egg? Floors get done Thurs, Fri, Mon and maybe Tues. Furniture comes on Friday! I'll finally have a bed up there. Just need to figure out the TV stand issue, so I can hook all those goodies up! I also plan on trimming some hedges this weekend, and fertilizing the lawn.

I see a red door and I want it painted black....

OK, I don't really have a red door, and I am not painting anything black.... This weekend, the remnants of hurricane Kyle (i think or maybe hurricane J-Dawg) came ashore as a Nor'Easter. Ya know what Nor'Easters are not great for... painting. These walls were sucking up paint like sponges, and they seemed to not dry at all.

Another thing Nor'Easters are not good for - Golf. I was all excited to play golf with the old man on Saturday, then saw the forecast, and said "I'm not paying $$ to play golf in the rain." Luckily that was followed up with some volunteerism to the tune of "Would you like help painting?"

Am I really gonna say no to that? Mom & Dad drove set off for a voyage up north before their anniversary get-away (this year is actually their 40th, but we lied to Princess Cruise Lines and celebrated it last year in Alaska...don't tell them, Princess that is). So there was much distress about how in the world to paint the master bedroom. Some uneven walls led to a few different paint schemes in all of our heads. The ceiling was painted bright white before I could even blink, and said "eh screw it, just paint the whole damn room Mountain Sage." The paint covered very well aside from 100% humidity and thirsty walls. Already ran to Home Depot to pick up gallon #2. FYI - the walls are not that glossy, they were just wet with the camera flash.



So you're looking at this and saying "Oh another room of Spiced Pumpkin?!" WRONG - ISSUE NUMBER 2!!! (The MacLaughlin group from SNL). This color is theoretically called Sweet Honey. I wonder why I'm always hungry, maybe because my walls are painted after foods. I mean, just last week I went on a sage binge and was just stuffing my face with it. This is the 3rd bedroom, or as we will call it, the office. Luckily the room is in the back of the house, which faces the north, and does not get a whole lot of sun. What great planning on my part!

So, the paint covered pretty well, and only one trip to Home Depot this weekend. While the trip was not planned 100%, I planned enough to spend $75 to get my $10 off. Hey, at this point, every $10 helps. I picked up some super duper Weed&Feed. No, no, no, its not weed, then feed, its a product that is for the grass. The green grass that grows on my lawn. We're gettin pretty close to being done with the painting and the floors! YAY!!!

What's on tap for next weekend? Certainly some of those international beers that come every month thanks to my sister's Christmas gift to me last year. We shall double up the coats on the MBR and office, and pick out a blue to paint the other bedroom. I'm thinking Blueberry, maybe Blue Agave (nooooo tequila for me). Name another blue food and I'll look for a color. BLUEFISH! All shiny and changing colors, I'm sure that will go over well. Stay tuned!

Oh What a Pain(t)!!!

Guest Starring in this week's episode: Mom & Dad.
Recurring Appearances made by: Diane and Kevin (independently yet concurrently)

So unbeknownst to me, Brinks also has a natural defense aspect of its home security systems.

Now back to the show. Early Saturday morning, Dan & Diane were eating breakfast when Mom & Dad made the first of their consecutive guest appearances. A quick trip to Home Depot (maybe an hour and a half) in which somehow all of the paint and supplies added up to $1000. OK, it wasn't really that much, but it sure as hell seemed like it! The chosen Behr Premium(they didn't pay for these advertising dollars) colors so far: Spiced Pumpkin (Dining Room), Wilmington Tan (3 walls of the living room), Peanut Butter (NO JELLY! the other living room wall and the hallway) and Mountain Sage (master bedroom). I'd say we spent hours emptying the rooms, but who are we kidding, there's nothing in the house! An afternoon/evening full of Dad & Diane painting the ceilings (I did a bunch of edging) and a group effort towards finishing one coat of Spiced Pumpkin in the dining room. There were no paint fights, nor any bodily harm. Sorry no drama here.

In a shocking turn of events, I sent Kevin a text to see if he wanted to try his hand at painting. Little did I know he was a professional painter in his college days. He showed up with beer in hand (which I was supposed to supply) and was ready to paint. I called over to Chinatown and after 15 minutes of spelling Stadtmauer to the polite gentleman on the other end of the phone, I placed an order for food.

While eating my orange chicken, I said "I can't believe those F'ers didn't give me rice." Lets fast forward about 3 hours.... I look on the stove, a little white container with... what do you know it.. RICE!

After the food incident, Diane, Kevin and I spent a good few hours slaving away at the walls. The funny thing, wilmington tan and peanut butter look almost identical. With all the hard efforts put forth, we were able to get a full coat of both colors on the living room, and some of the hall.

Sunday morning started with me going for breakfast, only to come home to Diane with an orange roller in her hand and new paint on the wall! She was able to finish the dining room while I worked on the trim of the second coat for the living room. Mom and Dad made a second appearance to help with the painting. Quite a few man and woman hours spent, and a few sore muscles resulting in the following:

The living room:

The Dining Room:

These colors look so much better in person.

Apologies and thanks go out to all who helped paint this weekend. What's left? Other than painting the 3 bedrooms, taking down the wallpaper in the kitchen, and figuring out how to "de-blue" the bathroom... We still have to figure out what to do with all of the angles in the master bedroom. It may turn into the green room, although the floors will still stay hardwood. Another round of apologies go out as this week was not as amusing as previous weeks.. thanks for reading!